As the former Cornhusker starting quarterback, Zac Lee has known his share of adversity. With the approach of the NFL 2011 Draft, however, Lee is hopeful that his luck will soon turn around. “I know that the Panthers will be calling sooner or later,” a rain soaked and ragged Lee said outside Radio City Music […] Read more
Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. What, me? I was just composing my next girl-meets-boy pop song. It’s just something I do in my spare time, as I’m awkward and can never live out my dreams of being with the cutest guy in high school. It’s truly a shame that these fanciful love stories […] Read more
After weeks of hearing coaches talk about which quarterbacks were going to “step up and lead,” Rex Burkhead couldn’t take it anymore. “I kept hearing the coaches yelling at the quarterbacks and telling them to ‘lead by example,’ and I couldn’t take it anymore. I just walked right up to coach Beck and told him […] Read more
Following reports of a severe spike in depressed pets during the last year, researchers at the University of California – Santa Cruz found a surprising correlation between a rare, little-investigated disorder among Midwestern pets and a certain American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA)-sponsored commercial featuring popular 1990’s recording artist Sarah McLachlan. The […] Read more
In an act of charity, Disney is sending pictures of Disney World to poor families across the nation. These “gift packages” include high-definition photos of various attractions, as well as descriptions of the “magic” that a Disney park can bring to the average family. Disney is hoping that the pictures and descriptions will be enough […] Read more
In the aftermath of the terrible earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan, the nuclear ongoing nuclear crisis has made radiation sickness a very dangerous threat according to Japan’s federal government. The radiation threatens not only the Japanese people, but also the country’s drinking water and livestock. In related news, McDonald’s has temporarily brought their barbecue […] Read more
In a shocking act of defiance, a bag of trash willingly removed itself from a receptacle at 36th and Vine Streets Monday morning. The incident began when mother of four Christine Tate insisted that her 16-year-old son, Joseph, take an overflowing trash bag out to the curb. “It was getting kind of gross,” said Tate. […] Read more
Tim Beck is ready. Beck, Nebraska’s new Offensive Coordinator, can’t wait to meet the fans at this year’s spring game. The only problem is that he’s not sure what to wear “I’m super excited to show all the Husker fans the new offense they are going to see,” Beck said. “But I’m not quite sure […] Read more
So you embarrassed yourself at a party last night when you revealed your ignorance of classic literature? Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to judge you. Why do you think they created me? Just give me five minutes of your time and you can gain the respect of just about every student at UNL, or […] Read more
Nebraskans for the Upgraded Treatment of Squirrels (N.U.T.S.) President Carl Scholt announced yesterday that N.U.T.S. would only be protecting the eastern grey squirrel and would not be protecting the black squirrel subgroup. The N.U.T.S. members voted on this issue last night after it had been found out that black squirrels were not specifically mentioned under […] Read more
