October 2012

Every Country Singer Enters Rehab

Following what was described as “a wild, swingin’ time” with women who had “honkey tonk badonkadonks,” every country singer has entered alcohol, drug, and sex rehabilitation. The evening began when every country singer consumed a low-quality beer with friends of the same gender and social class, except for the one outsider “from the big city,” […] Read more

Residents of Raccoon City Continuing to Enjoy Low Cost of Living

Raccoon City, a tranquil town at an undisclosed location within the U.S., was brought to national attention earlier this month when it was nominated as one of the CIA’s Top Secret Training Facilities in “I’d Tell You, But…” Magazine. The city featured prominently in Capcom’s “Resident Evil” video game series, though its location remains undisclosed; […] Read more