Following what was described as “a wild, swingin’ time” with women who had “honkey tonk badonkadonks,” every country singer has entered alcohol, drug, and sex rehabilitation. The evening began when every country singer consumed a low-quality beer with friends of the same gender and social class, except for the one outsider “from the big city,” […] Read more
Following the trend of introducing new characters to fit modern trends, the creators of Sesame Street have added a character with anti-Jewish sentiments to the show. Current show-runner Susan Simmons explained the changes to massed journalists, fans, and the Anti-Defamation league. Stating, “this is just how it’s going to be,” she spoke at length about […] Read more
Raccoon City, a tranquil town at an undisclosed location within the U.S., was brought to national attention earlier this month when it was nominated as one of the CIA’s Top Secret Training Facilities in “I’d Tell You, But…” Magazine. The city featured prominently in Capcom’s “Resident Evil” video game series, though its location remains undisclosed; […] Read more
So “Seven Psychopaths” is long. I know it’s under two hours, but the story is too long. There’s an hour of solid film in this beast, but director Martin McDonagh made the choice to have seven psychopaths wrapped up in it. Not one, two, or three, but seven freaking psychopaths. McDonagh then decides to waste […] Read more
Hey guys, Theodore here. Unfortunately, I’ve got a real axe to grind! Have you ever told a funny joke at a party? It’s a great feeling! Have you later happened to hear someone else tell the same joke? And they got more laughs than you? And it made that redhead laugh so hard she had […] Read more
Following Bo Pelini’s frequent use of “I don’t know” when answering postgame questions, the DailyER Nebraskan Investigative Team decided it was time to figure out exactly what Bo Pelini does not comprehend. The team found that what Bo Pelini doesn’t know could fill just about 37, 347,456 books, ranging from topics as diverse as microbiology, […] Read more
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick awoke with a fright Monday morning following a disturbance at his personal home in the American Northeast. Belichick was reportedly assaulted in his sleep by a spectral being who savagely attacked the National Football League coach, tearing his forearms from his body, extending up past the elbows. News outlets […] Read more
Reports surfaced earlier this week that the FBI had uncovered and blocked a plot to blow up the Federal Reserve building in New York City. Initial reports indicate that the alleged bomber, Bangladeshi student Quazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis, wanted to “blow up all of America’s money” in order to advance the cause of radical […] Read more
As the election gets nearer and nearer, the presidential candidates have begun moving their respective campaign messages toward topics other than the economy, including foreign policy. It’s an area Mitt Romney believes he has the best solution for fixing. “It is my belief that all of the United States’ foreign policy decisions should be made […] Read more
Every Presidential race promises ups and downs for the nominees, and the 2012 race has been no exception. Only three weeks from the finale, the candidates still continue to struggle for a clear lead in the polls. The resounding success of Mitt Romney in the first Presidential debate may have damaged Obama’s standing, but he […] Read more
