It’s not that I think you’re a bad person. You’ve done nothing to give me that impression. But my dog doesn’t like you, so we can’t be friends. If you’re alive in 2016, you’ve undoubtedly seen a certain sentimental meme floating around Facebook along the lines of “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, […] Read more
For over a century, fans of the Nebraska Cornhuskers have proudly displayed the Huskers’ “N” logo on their clothes, cars and household appliances. But a recent announcement from departing University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Harvey Perlman has changed everything. “As my time as chancellor comes to an end, I thought it was time to let Husker […] Read more
Four weeks into the semester and sophomore student Richard Holden is at a complete loss for words. “I don’t know man,” Holden somberly exhaled while gathering his thoughts. “You see, I’m taking this meteorology course to fulfill an ACE 4 requirement, but nothing the professor does ever makes any sense.” Standing up from his chair, […] Read more
A new study from a team of scientists at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln discovered some troubling new statistics for nameless, ski-masked henchmen. After months of research, the scientists have concluded that the leading cause of death for henchmen is being thrown out of helicopters by white males with short stubble during aerial hand-to-hand brawls. Official […] Read more
Breaking the rules that he typically uses to evaluate professors at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, freshman journalism major Dave Banks decided his new photography professor is cool despite the lack of profanities carelessly tossed around in lecture. “One thing I love about college is how there aren’t any rules,” Banks said. “Professors can cuss whenever […] Read more
“The Revenant” is the hot new award season contender sweeping the country. This period piece stars Leonardo DiCaprio as frontiersman Hugh Glass, who goes on a warpath of revenge after being left for dead in a shallow grave. Tom Hardy, of “Batman” and “Mad Max” fame, plays John Fitzgerald, a scalping survivor who kills DiCaprio’s […] Read more
Last week, honey fiend Thomas Grigsby was stung to death by a tidal wave of bees after attempting what was most likely a grand honey caper. Grigsby did not account for the veritable wave of bees who stung him again and again in defense of their golden ambrosia, leaving the 27-year-old man’s body almost unidentifiable. […] Read more
Have you heard any of these inside jokes? Have one we missed? Let us know in the comments! You can’t eat those! Dogs aren’t allowed to wear shoes Cough cough sneeze sneeze am I right? I have no friends Back that crocodile out the door Sneezy wheezy bo beezy That face Cheryll makes when she’s […] Read more
The DailyER announced a plan this week to save both the students of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln money as well as the College Readership Program, which is a point of controversy every year. “We’re excited to add some actual value to our newspaper,” said Colin Loberg, Editor-in-Chief of The DailyER. “We’re all big fans of […] Read more
Any successful college student knows the importance of arriving to class on time. But in recent weeks, even the most studious of scholars have been filing in late to Professor Darryl Fisher’s Intro to Psychology lecture at the Mary Riepma Ross Media Arts Center. “No one shows up on time to Fisher’s class anymore, because […] Read more
