March 2017

Freshman’s lighter-than-air MacBook still floating above campus

An ongoing two-week effort to retrieve University of Nebraska-Lincoln freshman Collin Yoder’s MacBook has proven unsuccessful so far. The 19-year-old grabbed Apple’s latest model out of his backpack to show a group of friends, who subsequently clamored and reached to no avail as it’s lighter-than-air design allowed it to ascend into the atmosphere. “I’m a […] Read more

Bootleg Runzas kill 55

Tragedy struck this week when 55 Lincoln natives were killed by counterfeit Runzas being sold discreetly across the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus. Due to recent budget cuts to the University of Nebraska, UNL was forced to raise the price of Runzas to a record-high $7. Several riots broke out after the news was announced, with […] Read more