November 2017

Hostility to conservatives revealed: UNL’s bookstore doesn’t sell any Larry the Cable Guy albums

Controversy has been swirling in recent weeks about the political climate on the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s campus. Many students and faculty members have insisted that claims of hostility toward conservative viewpoints have been baseless and unsubstantiated, but now, UNL’s critics have found their smoking gun. As part of their ongoing investigation, the Nebraska Governor’s office sent […] Read more

Local roommate is a bitch

Multiple sources now confirm that local roommate and speculated bitch, Meredith Bland, is, in fact, a complete bitch. Roommates in the Lincoln area are currently pouring in with reports of Bland’s bad behavior. From calling the cops on her sweet, handsome, flawless hunk of a roommate, to barring other roommates out of their house by putting […] Read more

Newly proposed meal plan would require 4000 credit hours to unlock all dining hall content

Still dealing with public unrest from the ongoing political controversy, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln has yet again upset the constituents of the university. UNL officials announced last week that new meal plans would be up for a vote of approval to the Nebraska Board of Regents. After further investigation into the meal plan details, reports […] Read more

Paramedics on hand for full-contact chess tournament

In what turned into absolute carnage among chess-playing intellectuals on Saturday, eyewitnesses described the violence that ensued during the world’s first full-contact chess tournament. “There were some unspeakable things that happened at that tournament,” said paramedic Terry Shroedecker. “My God, the things people do in the name of sport. I’ll never understand it.” Accounts of […] Read more