November 2017

Dishwasher gnomes form union

Kitchens across America rely on power, water and loving families in order to function. Loving families of the actively oppressed Smeebler dishwashing dishwasher gnomes, that is. Stolen from their Smeebler homeland of Dishenraque in the 1850s by inventor Joel Houghton, dishwasher gnomes were forced to live and work inside of wooden boxes and spray dishes […] Read more

PR nightmare: UNL marketed the Devaney Center as a Transformer to attract Mark Wahlberg, but he just announced that he hates the color red

Calling it the most glaring failure of his tenure, Will Zunneman, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s communications director, told reporters that he fears for the security of his job after his recent mistake of trying to attract Mark Wahlberg to the university by saying the Devaney Center was a Transformer, only to find out that Wahlberg […] Read more