February 2018

Heartbreaking: Herbie Husker asked Billy Bluejay to be his Valentine this year instead of Lil’ Red

Husker football season has been over for almost three months, yet heartbreak has struck the Huskers once again. This year for Valentine’s Day, the Nebraska Cornhuskers mascot, Herbie Husker, has asked the Creighton Bluejays mascot, Billy Bluejay, to be his Valentine, instead of the Huskers’ younger, alternate mascot, Lil’ Red. Lil’ Red was shocked to […] Read more

Budget Cut: Ricketts to replace entire state of Nebraska with Bruce Springsteen’s 1982 album ‘Nebraska’

Governor Pete Ricketts was confident, composed and ready to strike when he walked into the State Capitol building with his beat-up Sony Walkman and giant Bose noise canceling headphones on Monday, Feb. 12. Unprompted, as he strode into the meeting to decide the bi-annual budget, the good governor said, “There’s no place like Nebraska, except […] Read more

Robert Mueller gives up on the Russia investigation after discovering all tampering was done from an incognito browser

Calling the last seven months a royal waste of time, special counsel Robert Mueller announced he was giving up on the Russia investigation after discovering all tampering was done from an incognito browser. “Undoubtedly, there was extensive malicious, foreign influence in the 2016 presidential election,” Mueller said in a press conference early on Tuesday morning. […] Read more