Starting the spring semester of 2018, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln has imposed a ban on cigarette, vape and tobacco use across its grounds. After considering the difficulty of leaving campus to smoke, experts at The DailyER have compiled 7 ways to sneak a smoke while on campus.
1. Have a friend cover the cigarette with their hands
Here’s an easy loophole where you don’t have to do any work! All you’re going to need is a friend and their hands. As you enjoy your cigarette, have your pal block people from seeing it with their hands cupped around the cigarette! How cool is that?
2. Hide the cigarette in a sandwich
This one cures both your hunger and smoking cravings. Go down to your favorite Wendy’s restaurant (located at 1336 Q St), buy yourself one of the all-famous Dave’s Triple sandwiches, and bring the specially-crafted Wendy’s cheeseburger back to campus! While you’re enjoying the best sandwich on the face of the planet, slide a cigarette between the patties so you can smoke with every bite you take!
3. Smoke only in frigid weather
This is a sneaky tactic to blend in on campus while smoking. If you choose to smoke on campus solely in freezing temperatures, then your cigarette smoke will blend in with the breaths of fellow students traversing across campus. For warmer months, just find your way to a freezer on campus. No one will suspect a thing!
4. Pretend it’s the 60’s
This one is for the brave-hearted only. Literally just whip out a cig and start smoking. If anyone sees you and confronts you about it, just tell them, “everyone smoked in the 60’s.” As long as you have substantial proof that we are still living in the 1960’s, this method is sure to succeed!
5. Hide the cigarette in a didgeridoo
Looking to stay hip while smoking on campus? Carry a didgeridoo around with you everywhere! Developed by the Aboriginal people of Australia, the wind instrument is the perfect way to conceal that cigarette while walking to class! On top of that, you’ll become a master didgeridoo player in no time!
6. Identify as a smoker
If all else fails, just embrace today’s PC culture and identify as a smoker. Claim to university officials that your gender survives off of cigarettes, vapes and tobacco. UNL will be sure to avoid the PR disaster and let you off the hook!
7. Hire someone to follow you around with a camera
UNL’s new policy makes an exception for “theatrical performance purposes,” so just pay someone to point a camera at you every time you take a smoke break! A student at the Johnny Carson School might even do it for free if you let them use the footage in their next experimental film project. Plus you can get that IMDb credit you’ve always wanted.