Bear in the Bigger Bluer House: Nothing draws an attentive audience like the word BIG or BIGGER. Throw in a friendly bear from your childhood and by golly, you’ve got yourself a hit!

Blue’s Clueier Clues: The problem with this children’s show was the clues were too obvious, so what did these ingenious network executives do? They made the clues CLUEIER!

The Wiggliers: They wiggle more now, I guess.

More Friends: That annoying person always sitting next you’s favorite show is back and better than ever! How do you make this-star studded cast even better, you ask? Stud on some more stars! Twelve actors in a single bungaloo!

Everybody Tolerates Robert: Doomed to fail, I fucking hated Robert.

Fraisest: Don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs? Well, watching this reboot’s might help!

The Fleek Prince of Bel-Air: Rumors have it, Jaden Smith will be cast as Will’s son and ruin Will Smith for you forever- as if he hadn’t already.

Home Needs More Improvement: *Funny Tim Allen noise*

Hey! Hey Arnold! HEY ARNOLD!: Arnold’s older and losing his hearing in this blast from the past, blasted straight into your future living room!

Rocco’s Post-Modern Life: Rocco’s hanging up the phone on horny strangers and taking his pent up, sexual frustration to a canvas near you!

The Irritable Beavers: The Angry Beavers have simply grown irritable in their old age, I bet.

Captain Fracking: FEED THE CAPITALIST MACHINE!

Seinfeld 2: The Seinfeldening: This time, the show’s about something.

Power Strangers: Go, go help find their lost dogs!

Whose Line is it Anymore?: Honestly, does anyone remember?

Dexter’s Pharmacy: It’s meth. He sells meth now.