ACLU calls lactose intolerance unacceptable in 2017

The ACLU has long been a voice for the voiceless in America, and in continuance with their pursuit of social justice, the organization is now turning their gaze to the often ignored issue of lactose intolerance.

In a recent seminar launching their campaign Death to Dairy Defamation 2017, president Ralph Erikson openly called lactose intolerance “one-hundred percent inexcusable in our modern age.”

According to their website, the aim of the privately funded campaign is to educate people about the strife of lactose in Western society and to shed light on paths to achieve a more equal future.

While altruistic in intent, this latest chapter in ACLU history is not being well-received by the NAACP and a host of LGBTQA associations.

Margaret Durbin for the Union for Gay Equality and a Better Tomorrow (UGEBT) griped that the shift in focus “literally makes no sense,” and “is a slap in the face to the real issues that still deserve attention and resolution.”

The DailyER spoke with ACLU representative Sam Welkins to hear the organization’s retort to such criticism as well as to the controversial claims that lactose intolerant individuals are simply “born that way.”

“Change is never readily accepted, but to know that our fellow civil activists think it okay to exclude lactose from our solidarity is deeply saddening,” expressed Welkins. “As far as the ignorant belief that lactose intolerants are born, I find it preposterous. Hate for lactose is taught by backwards ideology; it isn’t something one is just born with.”

Welkins went on to disclose that the union will be releasing an ad which portrays lactose doing basic things that any other normal disaccharide sugar would do; like forming aqueous solutions when dissolved in water and holding glycosidic bonds.The ACLU is even going so far as looking into legal action against Michigan

The ACLU is even going so far as looking into legal action against Michigan fifth-grader and self-admitted intolerant Jack Fontaine for his “egregious and constant denial of milk during school lunches.”

Welkins explained that winning a lawsuit like this would set a precedent and let Americans know they are serious about ushering in an era of lactose tolerance. Despite the fact that according to Fontaine’s doctors having dairy products would make him extremely unwell, the court date is set for May 12.

Regarding further details of the lawsuit, Welkins simply said, “He better bring a good lawyer.”