“Ahhhh, another day of teaching, huh?” said advertising and public-relations graduate student Norman Miller as he took a deep breath and smelled the faint aroma of Pepsi.
Then, for dramatic effect, he rolled his shoulder before grabbing the handle of the Pepsi-logoed door and swung it open.
“Well, gotta go teach those kids one of the most important lessons they’ll ever hear.”
Miller, who works as a graduate teacher of advertising, began on Monday his first day of teaching ad ethics and law in the PepsiChamber, sponsored by Pepsi. As he paced the Pepsi-colored floor, pausing occasionally for dramatic effect to look at the pictures of pouring Pepsi hanging everywhere, Miller hoped to make one point clear.
“We want to hook our clients – it’s a big business, and we need to make money,” Miller said, picking up a complementary Pepsi to wet his throat. “However, we need to be careful. These clients are still people. This is a business, but we’re dealing with people and their minds.”
Miller continued, making dramatic hand gestures and occasionally knocking over one of the tasteful Pepsi can statuettes or Pepsi refilling stations.
“We can’t overstimulate our clients,” Miller said, tapping his fingers on a bust of President Obama pouring Pepsi into his mouth. “They’ll see right through those shams. You have to be careful, and remember your client demographic. Look at how other big institutions do it – like campuses such as UNL – and how they balance advertising and morals.”
In his closing statement, made all the more poignant by the Pepsi-brand megaphone, Miller hit the onus of all advertising agents.
“We need to remember to stay smart and to never let our jobs consume us,” Miller said as he flipped the switches to release the PepsiLocks on the doors and to vent the Pepsi mist gradually fed into the chamber throughout its use. “We need to just be smart. That’s all there is to it.”