All Contact With Western Nebraska Lost

photo illustration by Jacob Fricke

All people, places, and things in Western Nebraska appear to be unreachable, according to reports from across the country.

Phone lines appear to be empty, internet usage has flatlined, and lights appear to have gone out in all areas leading to the Omaha and Lincoln metro areas.

“They appear to have completely…. vanished,” said notably shaken state representative Tyson Larsen. “I was in Lincoln on government business, when suddenly everything from my district went quiet.”

Several armed expeditions have been sent to the Western part of the state, though at press time none had returned. Authorities report that contact with these search parties became fainter and fainter as they moved farther west, and that no individuals or “living things of any kind” could be found.

Authorities monitoring radio waves have reported no activity, except a consistent, low volume beeping noise and one long, lonely cow’s moo.