Professor Badlye had a lot of explaining to do to his second wife this week, when his information was leaked alongside millions of other names on Ashley Madison.
Badlye, a renaissance studies professor, came under fire for having an account with the website meant for coordinating extramarital affairs.
“I’m telling thou, all I was trying to doeth was submit the syllabus f’r mine class” Badlye said. “Mine mistress comes in and she sees I’m on this foul Ashley Madison website, I hast nay idea how that couldst hast happened.”
While it was incredibly frustrating to listen to Badlye come up with excuses in Old English for an hour and a half, he still had an entertaining air about him.
His wife wasn’t as entertained.
“I walked in to ask if he wanted a Gebraten Milch, his favorite medieval snack, and I saw him on that website,” said Badlye’s wife Gertrude. “In the search box he was looking for a ‘tramp who is looney with her ankles.’ I was horrified.”
A request for a response finally brought Badlye from the Dark Ages.
“Maybe if Gertrude wasn’t such a naysayer and showed me some ankle action I wouldn’t be in this mess!”
Badlye was last seen cleaning out his desk at Oldfather Hall. He peeled out of the east parking lot in his horse drawn carriage with a javelin sticking out of the sunroof.