All posts by: Daniel Gertner

PR nightmare: UNL marketed the Devaney Center as a Transformer to attract Mark Wahlberg, but he just announced that he hates the color red

Calling it the most glaring failure of his tenure, Will Zunneman, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s communications director, told reporters that he fears for the security of his job after his recent mistake of trying to attract Mark Wahlberg to the university by saying the Devaney Center was a Transformer, only to find out that Wahlberg […] Read more

Student offered $670 million book deal after publishing first Odyssey Online article

Demonstrating considerable faith in novice writer and college sophomore Kaitlyn Evans, publishing company Simon & Schuster offered Evans a $670 million book deal after Evans debuted her first Odyssey Online article on Monday. Evans’ article, titled “An Open Letter to my Brother’s Girlfriend’s Sister’s Boyfriend,” first hit the Web early Monday morning on popular blogging […] Read more

Trump’s reversal of Obama-era birth control mandate meets resistance from Russian nesting doll lobby

The Trump administration recently rolled back Obama-era federal regulations that required employers to cover birth control in their health insurance plans, sources reported. The move, which President Trump called a win for religious freedom, met significant resistance from the highly influential Russian nesting doll lobby. Working for a Better Future from the Inside and Inside […] Read more

Mechanic finds it inappropriate to discuss repairs so soon after car crash, offers prayers

Calling it abominable to politicize your car’s suffering, your local mechanic told you it was inappropriate to discuss repairs so soon after your car crash. “It hasn’t even been 24 hours since the crash, and you want to talk repairs?” questioned your mechanic. “What your car needs right now are our thoughts and prayers. Maybe […] Read more