In an apparent lack of knowledge of current events, area mosquito Pete continues to carry the West Nile virus despite it no longer being trendy. Following the Latin American outbreak of the Zika virus, known to cause headaches, fevers and birth defects, Pete’s peers wonder why he’s carrying a disease that stopped being relevant in […] Read more
The Cancer Moonshot Task Force might have made a breakthrough. This past week, a groggy, bloodshot Biden spoke at the Task Force’s executive meeting and gave those in attendance a very vague idea about how to move forward. “You know man, these scientists have already done a ton of research,” Biden said. “Maybe it’s time […] Read more
Breaking the rules that he typically uses to evaluate professors at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, freshman journalism major Dave Banks decided his new photography professor is cool despite the lack of profanities carelessly tossed around in lecture. “One thing I love about college is how there aren’t any rules,” Banks said. “Professors can cuss whenever […] Read more
Area weatherman and television personality Dan Summers was fired from the KLNK newscast this past week after a team of industry insiders discovered a pattern of deliberate misinformation in Summers’ reporting. Since at least 2011, Summers reported lower-than-true temperatures every Tuesday morning in the months of January and February in order to lower the price […] Read more
Desperate coffee goers trapped in line as long as 15 minutes sought aid from the federal government this past Tuesday, claiming that they lacked basic living necessities and another place to turn. “I’ve been waiting in line for my triple vanilla macchiato– in a foam cup– for almost half an hour now,” said local coffee […] Read more
A house with broken windows, creaky doors and squatters that angrily wield power tools would generally be considered haunted by most. This past week, tenants and neighbors were surprised when it was discovered that this was not the case. A Near South home mistaken for a haunted house was revealed this past week to be […] Read more
Following the introduction of beer sales at athletic events at other Big Ten schools like the University of Maryland, officials at the Pinnacle Bank Arena have opened up the possibility of selling the Huskers’ favorite adult beverage, Hot Pepsi. “The University of Nebraska is a proud Pepsi campus,” said Pinnacle Bank Arena spokesman Jared Braun. […] Read more
Luke Davis couldn’t wait to move back to Lincoln. He’d looked forward to his summer back home with his parents in Bellevue, but before long he missed the freedom that living in Lincoln gave him. But when he moved into Prime Place, he thought staying home for a few more weeks might not be a […] Read more
Following June’s critically acclaimed ‘Sunbathing Animal,’ the Brooklyn-based Parquet Courts surprised fans with their second release of the year, “Content Nausea.” Like last year’s EP ‘Tally All the Things That You Broke,’ the album is credited to the their alternate, phonetic moniker Parkay Quarts. This alternate name implies that listeners will find something a little […] Read more
In 2013, the Copenhagen-based punk band Iceage released their breakthrough album “You’re Nothing,” a release that was critically acclaimed by music critics the world over. Last month, the Danish band surprised the same writers by releasing “The Lord’s Favorite,” the leading single from their new album “Plowing Into the Field of Love.” The band recorded […] Read more
