All posts by: Efren Cortez

Garfield now loves Mondays

The fat and lazy orange cat who has captured the hearts of millions since 1978 is about to undergo a major change starting in September. “Garfield” creator Jim Davis announced in a press conference that the titular feline will now love Mondays. “If you really think about it, Mondays aren’t that bad,” said Davis. “It’s […] Read more

Sanders appeals to millennials by defending pop punk

Democratic Presidential Candidate Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) took the country by storm when he announced his presidential bid in May. He’s appealed to millennials with his involvement in the Civil Rights Movement, support of the LGBTQA community and disgust with the billionaire class. Recently, Sanders announced another movement that has his support: pop punk.

The genre’s popularity started to decline in 2006 but has been making a comeback in recent years, which has caught Sanders’ eye.

“I voted against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan because we had a bigger war back at home that needed our support,” Sanders said about defending pop punk.

“I see this as a genre that people enjoy because it goes against a lot of the norms. It reminds me of how I’m fighting against the politicians in Washington,” Sanders said.

While Democratic opponent Hillary Clinton is trying to appeal to the youth by appearing on “Saturday Night Live” and whipping the nae nae on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” Sanders has less embarrassing plans.
“This upcoming summer, I will join the famous Vans Warped Tour and give out speeches between sets,” Sanders said.
“If elected president, I will talk with Little Caesars to serve free pizza on Sundays to anyone wearing a flannel shirt,” Sanders said. On the campaign trail, Sanders will now wear band T-shirts accompanied with a flannel shirt instead of his signature blue button-up.

The “Defend Pop Punk” T-shirts are now available for purchase on Sanders’ website.

Joe McManus, frontman of pop punk band Throwback Wonder, has expressed his support for Sanders.

“Just like the roads in our hometown, the government is full of potholes that need to be filled up,” McManus said. “If he supports and understands pop punk, unlike my parents, then he’s got my vote.”