As Americans around the country prepare for their annual late-November feast, President Obama traditionally pardoned one Thanksgiving turkey as a sign of good will. However, Obama’s move wasn’t received as well as the public had anticipated. This year, the pardoned turkey would much rather be roasted and sitting on the dining room table of a […] Read more
The opinion of Jack Palmer Gell.
Great Plains Studies major Anton Kaplan has been turning heads in lecture halls around campus over the last week with his new desktop wallpaper: a Blue Eyes White Dragon so sick that it distracts any student who sits behind him in class. Kaplan created the wallpaper with the help of photoshop and the fine people […] Read more
Senior marketing major Shannon Baughman has given a whole new meaning to pest control, as a very large spider has been living on her couch for the past three months. Baughman discovered the spider skittering around in the basement of her home at 48th and A streets, but didn’t think much of it besides its […] Read more
In a stunning announcement at a state legislature hearing last Friday, Governor Pete Ricketts gave an astounding 45-minute-long speech concluding in an unprecedented request. “In conclusion, ladies and gentlemen of the Senate, I have decided that I want to start taking both my job and my life more seriously,” Ricketts said. “To commemorate this shift […] Read more
Walking down the halls of Abel 8, one might think this is just a normal dorm hall with freshmen excitedly rushing about trying to settle into their new lives here at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Once you find yourself at room 806, you’ll realize this dorm floor is taking comedy to unexplored heights. “I’m majoring […] Read more
1.Colgate® Raspberry Mint Your mouth will be going wild when you gloss this goo all over your pearly whites. While brushing, you might think to yourself, “Man this is definitely toothpaste!” But what won’t be on your mind is the thousands tortured and killed between the years 1492-1502 in Spain for heresy against the Catholic […] Read more
After Jeb Bush’s disappointing announcement of his campaign’s suspension, Donald Trump has been searching desperately to find a new punching bag. It seems Governor Pete Ricketts is just what Trump was looking for, following the intercept of a private e-mail from Trump to the governor. The email reads: TO: Pete Rickets babywarbucks1964@aol.com Cc: Jeb Bush […] Read more
We all know that feeling. It’s class time and you’re glued to your couch watching Scooby, Shaggy and the rest of the gang of super sleuths ride around in the Mystery Machine solving mystery after mystery. You might think to yourself, “I really need to go to my economics capstone so I can graduate this […] Read more
Phi Kappa Psi fraternity has received some bad publicity in recent days due to a video which reportedly contained evidence of hazing. The video in question allegedly showed a student, understood to be a pledge of the fraternity, being branded with the fraternity’s Greek letters. In light of this news chapter president Francis Gobbles gave […] Read more
