I know you think you know me. You think you know my life, my struggle, my path. Well I’ve got news for you: you don’t know me at all. From the outside, we always think we know others. We see the images people present of themselves on social media. We see the fashion choices they […] Read more
The latest round of emails released by Wikileaks has revealed that Sesame Street icon Cookie Monster receives a salary from Nabisco, manufacturers of some of America’s most popular cookie brands such as Oreo and Chips Ahoy! The revelation has thrown into question the integrity of one of America’s most cherished institutions. In the leaked emails […] Read more
The issues, feeling left out of the conversation by this year’s presidential election, are starting to wonder if we really care about them. “This was gonna be our year,” the issues said, gently dabbing tears from their eyes. “Now all we hear about is scandals and controversies and email servers and grabbing p***sies. And we’re […] Read more
In an unprecedented move for a major party candidate, Donald Trump is refusing to say whether he’ll trick or treat this Halloween. In the history of U.S. elections, presidential candidates have always made it indisputably clear whether they’ll trick or treat. Trump’s opponent Hillary Clinton, who according to Gallup polls is not considered trustworthy by […] Read more
Wednesday’s presidential debate at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, the third and final of the 2016 election, will function a bit differently than the previous two. While nominees Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton will be moderated by Fox News’ Chris Wallace in much the same manner as the last two debates, the audience will […] Read more
With pressure mounting, Sen. Deb Fischer finally, formally announced that she has no clue what she’s doing. “I’m excited to eliminate any uncertainty and put this behind us so we can get back to work,” she said. “It’s true: I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. It turns out I’m a few riders shy […] Read more
Rest easy, millennials: following years of heated debate and uncertainty, a solution for rising higher education costs has finally been found. President Obama announced a new initiative on Friday to help college students deal with skyrocketing tuition rates. The plan? To sell cheap, tasteless candy bars to neighbors and coworkers who don’t want them, out […] Read more
