Beadle Center grew six legs, rampaged around Lincoln

In a recent acquisition of top secret government files, The DailyER has learned of a near-cataclysmic event at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln that was almost completely erased from history.

The files tell a story of a building on City Campus that once inexplicably came alive, grew six legs and left a path of destruction through Lincoln during its rampage. This building is known as Beadle Center.

Beadle Center was once located on East Campus in the late 1990s. After a failed agricultural experiment on East Campus, strange fumes drifted through Beadle’s halls, causing it to come alive and grow legs. It quickly uprooted itself and began leaving East Campus, heading toward downtown Lincoln.

Authorities responded as quickly as possible, summoning the National Guard and even planes from Offutt Air Force Base in Bellevue. Heavy artillery was deployed, and the impossible beast’s back legs were disabled, forcing it to drag itself along the ground. Part of its path is now known as the Antelope Valley Trail.

The creature was then pinned down at its current location, on the easternmost edge of City Campus.

Its chimneys are actually containment rods, spearing it into the ground where it lay.

The leaked documents also reveal the usage of a severe amnesiatic gas that was dropped over Lincoln by the FBI during the day after the events. All mentions of the event in public writing were quickly redacted and removed, making absolutely sure nobody remembered what seems to be an impossible event.