Board Of Regents Blows Off Steam With Pillow Fight In Emptied Classics Department

  After long deliberations about the University of Nebraska at Lincoln’s current budget, the school’s Board of Regents reached a finalized proposal earlier this week. The proposal, which includes deep cuts to several of UNL’s academic programs and non-tenured staff positions, has been met with some controversy. In response to some of the concerns raised […] Read more

NUTS Refuses to Protect Black Squirrels

Nebraskans for the Upgraded Treatment of Squirrels (N.U.T.S.) President Carl Scholt announced yesterday that N.U.T.S. would only be protecting the eastern grey squirrel and would not be protecting the black squirrel subgroup. The N.U.T.S. members voted on this issue last night after it had been found out that black squirrels were not specifically mentioned under […] Read more

Immigration Raids Chipotle, Finds Angsty White Teens

Story by Grace Mortensen Immigration and Customs Enforcement is beginning to crack down on many restaurants. This past month, ICE officials investigated illegal employment in Chipotle restaurants across the United States. Recently, the government organization that controls illegal immigrant activities, among other things, raided two Chipotle locations in Lincoln. “I came into work and was […] Read more