Blow to the Democrats: Mitch McConnell’s spine still on back order

Sources reported Wednesday that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s spine was still on back order, offering a major blow to the Democrats in their fight against President Trump’s agenda. A spokesperson from McConnell’s office spoke to reporters early Thursday morning to offer an explanation and an apology for the incident. “Despite our best efforts, we […] Read more

President Trump thankful he got his swastika tattoo removed 25 years ago

As racial tensions have continued to pressure his presidential administration, Donald Trump has gotten himself into a complex controversy that most anyone with common sense could have avoided. After not denouncing white supremacists after the Charlottesville riot and half-heartedly condoning their actions and then retracting that two days later, our commander-in-chief has been cast as a Nazi […] Read more

Garfield now loves Mondays

The fat and lazy orange cat who has captured the hearts of millions since 1978 is about to undergo a major change starting in September. “Garfield” creator Jim Davis announced in a press conference that the titular feline will now love Mondays. “If you really think about it, Mondays aren’t that bad,” said Davis. “It’s […] Read more