Hey there, champ. How’s it going? Only about a week-and-a-half until you get to come back home for the holidays, huh? Only couple of days of classes and some holiday shopping to do, right? Well, there is one thing that we would like to mention to you about the shopping, sport. First off, we would […] Read more
– My girlfriend of three years just left me. How do I get over the feeling of crippling loneliness and move on with my life? – Shawn T, sophomore biology major We all gone through heartbreak bud, if you lonely gimme a ring, we can go get drunk an dump some used motor oil down […] Read more
Okay, poor people….I’m sorry…I….said a lot of things…. You said a lot of things….and I’m sorry alright?…It’s…it’s not…easy reforming healthcare and…I should known how badly you guys wanted to get insurance and…made the websites better…stronger…it was my mistake,…and I apologize…but there is something you can do until the website is fixed…just do your best and […] Read more
Did you guys know that college expects you to choose a major? Crazy, right? I thought the only reason I was here was to build my fraternity’s float. So I chose advertising because I thought there would be no work and an easy place to get laid. But you guys do not know how hard […] Read more
I tell you what, it’s starting to get a little hot in here. A little too hot. I think it’s time a muscular douchebag come along, rip off my sleeves and alleviate me of this heat. Oh yeah, that’s what I’d like. I’m tired of being just a shirt commemorating to ‘08-’09 lacrosse season. It’s […] Read more
Problems? Concussions problem in no football. King of Sports! America’s sport most popular! Game part of concussions. Risk acknowledged, love of game we for play. Possible, suppose I, regret that will in future come. Season this, I concussed times five. But game we win! People happy we make! Pound of me family! My team represent […] Read more
Man, what the hell has happened since I left town two years ago? I spend four years of my football career at Nebraska, stay my senior year to take mid-afternoon naps and torturing opposing freshmen lineman, and you guys somehow lose your shit once I’m gone. Over my four year career at the University of […] Read more
Wow, did I abort that position at the right time. Holy shit. The President, our Nobel Peace Prize winning president, wants to intervene in a civil war in the Middle East with our military. Good luck, Kerry. Maybe they used chemical weapons. I have no idea. I’ve been drinking my chemical weapons on the rocks […] Read more
Whoa, man. Sweet Strat. Is that yours? She’s beautiful, man. What’s her name? Ah, dude, you gotta name your guitar, dude. My guitar’s name is Kurt Cobain. I just feel like ‘90’s grunge speaks to me like no other genre, man. The soul of Kurt is in that guitar, man. Can I see it? I’ve […] Read more
It’s funny how the world spins sometimes, one day you can have your television show and you’re hotter than a hot fudge bisquict on a bitshering summer day, and the next you’re hated by everyone for using the N-word to describe a young hotel worker. Now most of you reader are disappointed in the words […] Read more
