Sophomore English major Jeremey Reed was on his way to his British Literature Before 1800 class yesterday to take his midterm exam. The exam was to be three passage identification questions followed by a long form essay– a fairly easy test depending on whether students had actually read any of the material.
“Yeah, I didn’t read any of that shit,” Reed said in an interview with the DailyER. “I figured that since I paid attention in lecture or whatever that I’d be fine on the exam.”
When asked how well he had paid attention in class, his only response was, “Not very.”
Despite not being even a bit prepared for the test that counts for 25 percent of his grade, Reed reportedly made his way to Andrews hall from his dorm at Abel. About halfway to the lecture hall, Reed noticed something fairly out of the ordinary.
Crows reportedly began landing in the trees around Andrews Hall, staring at Reed with soulless black eyes.
“At first I thought it was a little weird,” Reed said. “But then when I noticed there was somewhere around 200 or so crows all cawing in unison, I was a little worried that I might not do well on the exam.”
While it may have been possible for Reed to discount the crows as a bizarre coincidence at first, this became an impossibility when he made it to his seat in Andrews 39. According to eyewitness reports, the impossibly large murder of crows, now numbering somewhere in the upper 300s, had gathered outside the classroom window, all with unblinking eyes fixed on the boy.
While the crows’ purpose for doing this remains unconfirmed, The DailyER speculates the murder of crows merely wanted to freak Reed out and watch him fail.
The DailyER reached out to Dr. Jennifer Harrison, the professor teaching Reed’s class, to find out just how badly Reed did up on the exam.
“[Reed] could have smeared crow shit on a piece of parchment paper and gotten a better grade than what he actually turned in.”