David plays secret chord, pleases Lord

Citing that only he could know how to produce the sound, David played his secret chord and pleased the Lord, sources confirmed on Wednesday.

“I’m happy I was able to strike my chord to please the Lord,” said David, a harpist and King of the Israelites. “I really do love how it pleases the Lord to hear my secret chord.”

The Lord expressed his gratitude for David’s chord in a special meeting at His table in Heaven.

“When David plays that chord, I am so pleased. He is incredibly talented; after six long days of work, all I want is to be pleased by David’s secret chord.”

David stressed to reporters that the chord was a secret between him and the Lord.

“People always ask me how to play my secret chord, because they also want to please the Lord. I am not willing to disclose the nature of my secret chord, as doing so would, likely, not please the Lord.”

The Lord confirmed David’s assertion that sharing the secret chord would not be pleasing.

“The chord that David plays is not only a secret that David owns, it is a secret that we share. One reason I am so pleased by the secret chord is that I trust David will use it to please only me, the Lord.”

The Lord continued by saying that he is proud of David for learning a chord so secret that it is meant to only please him. He commented that he is so impressed by the secret chord that, sometimes, he wishes his son could be more like David.