First Day of Diet Enters 37th Day

HOUSTON–Following another failed startup, the first day of Justin Kolb’s South Beach Diet routine, has reportedly entered it’s 37th day. “Well yesterday I accidentally drove to the Taco Bell drive thru and ate two steak quesadillas but today’s another day, day one exactly, and I’m ready for this challenge,” Kolb said as he eyed a bag of Chips Ahoy cookies he threw in the trash so he could “start fresh.” While exercise is usually a main tenant of the South Beach Diet, Kolb said he didn’t want to start that today because it would stress him out and then he’d never stay on it. “You can’t just start working out and be on a diet at the same time. You’d never stay on it at that point, you’ve got to gradually change your lifestyle.” After two hours, Kolb told reporters that he didn’t want to waste food and therefore ate the Chips Ahoy cookies but would start fresh tomorrow, after he eats some KFC tonight.