The blare of fire horns and the pulsing lights of police cars decorated O Street Wednesday night.
In response to an emergency call originating from Iguana’s Pub, two firetrucks and nearly a dozen Lincoln Police Department vehicles screeched to a halt in front of the popular bar about 11:30 p.m.
The cause: one donut.
Lost, forgotten or simply left behind, the fried treat often mistook for a breakfast food had sweat through the napkin intended to contain it and crossed a humanitarian boundary of edibility.
Patrons witnessed a moist film of chocolate develop beneath a restroom paper towel and quickly called for management, said Josh Vanweaver, a bartender who was working at the time.
“It was horrible,” Vanweaver said. “We couldn’t believe it.”
After failing an attempt to remove the donut from the premicise, through vocal appeals and by force, Vanweaver said he had no other choice but to dial 911.
“It could’ve been anything,” Vanweaver said. “It could’ve been a donut filled with Ebola for all we knew.”
Officers stormed the building in full riot gear and found the donut alone and in a booth near the bar’s north wall. People ran, screamed, climbed over each other, Vanweaver said. “I thought I was going to die.”
Chief of Police Jim Peschong said today in a press briefing that matters of this nature are of utmost importance to his department. Peschong, who’s involvement in individual cases is rarely seen, had the donut brought immediately to his personal office for investigation.
“Things will clear up after questioning and cross examination,” Peschong said, burping into the conference microphone. “All we know is that is that no one was injured, and we are grateful for that. Excuse me.”