Fraternity Plays A Rousing Game of Penis Jenga

After a summer of blood, sweat, and tears, fraternity Gamma Delta Iota has it all stacked up.

Tuesday, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln chapter held a private philanthropy in the basement of their 16th and S St. house to benefit the Lincoln humane society. Participants paid $10 to enter a contest of what chapter president Peter Johnson called, “Penis Jenga.”

“It’s simple – like Jenga but with dicks,” Johnson said. “You get the picture.”

After last year’s pancake feed saw a flimsy turnout, Gamma Delta Iota members viewed their contributions to the Greek community as inadequate, even unpleasant, Johnson said. Together, fraternity leaders decided they would take things further than ever imagined.

“Go big or go home,” Johnson said.

And go big did they ever. After raising more than an astonishing $2,500 with 250 participants, members and fans are clamoring to make Penis Jenga a more frequent occurrence in their philanthropic circuit, Johnson said. He’s not sure why they didn’t start piling and pulling sooner.

In the eyes of freshman pledge Caleb Eagle, the occasion was of another realm.

“Magic,” Eagle said with a gaping mouth. “Magic.”

He tried for the right words.

“Meat thresher,” he added. “Matchstick men. Cock Twister.”

The fraternity prepared three times a week in the months prior, moving from items like hot dogs, sausages and other oblong meats to their very own pepperoni sticks. Stretching was also major part of practice.

“Helping your bros limber up is key in any sport,” Johnson said. “We can’t have any dislocated dicks or gouged out eyes like the [Oklahoma State’s] Penis Jenga tragedy of 2012.”

No injuries were sustained beyond damaged pride for the odd man out, and, with a no-balls-touched status that remained untarnished, all felt the game was a whopping success, Johnson said.

“Most people can’t believe this is what we do for philanthropy,” he said. “But really, it’s not all that uncommon in the Greek system. Here, we strive for the best and never come up short.”