‘Free pizza’ at event just Little Caesars

For the Literary Club to increase attendance, Club boosters planned on offering “free pizza” to anyone who would show up to Tuesday’s meeting. The ploy was sure to get at least a few more students to come and possibly stay for a talk about “Far From the Maddening Crowd,” the current book of the month. Curiosities were quickly diminished, however, when word got out that the pizza offered at the event was allegedly from the chain “Little Caesars,” a restaurant known as the cheapest for any pizza needs.

The number of students who missed the word that got out expressed grave disappointed when their eyes caught the boxes of Little Caesar’s pizza.

“I usually try to attend any event with free food, I’ve tried just about anything for about every different club or organization,” sophomore ethics major Andrew Daniels said. “But man, Little Caesars? At least try to spring for some Valentinos. Come on.”

“I’ve never read a book in my life but I’m willing to pretend for free food,” junior business major Kate Fieroa said. “But Little Caesars should only be consumed under the influence of multiple hard drugs, not on a school campus.”

The Literary Club released a statement regarding the issue, stating that the issue was an error from higher up and will never happen again.

“If we were able to brainstorm, we should have been able to easily concur that Little Caesars is a bad choice, and not leave the planning up to Kevin again,” the statement read. “Next time, we’ll just get Toppers or something.”