Freshman’s lighter-than-air MacBook still floating above campus

An ongoing two-week effort to retrieve University of Nebraska-Lincoln freshman Collin Yoder’s MacBook has proven unsuccessful so far.

The 19-year-old grabbed Apple’s latest model out of his backpack to show a group of friends, who subsequently clamored and reached to no avail as it’s lighter-than-air design allowed it to ascend into the atmosphere.

“I’m a little bummed about it, but it’s not the end of the world,” a highly upset and visibly distraught Yoder stammered out of pure despair. “I mean, I can still hear The Strokes playing from down here, so the speakers are great. The battery’s still on and I can see everything on the screen. Dude, that resolution is ridiculous!”

One of Yoder’s friends, sophomore Ahmed Ali, said he enjoys seeing the $1,300 impromptu aircraft hovering around.

“Sometimes I’ll be sitting in class and [Collin’s] laptop will float by with a funny meme or his parents’ messages saying, ‘you owe us, Collin.’ Pretty funny stuff,” Ali said. “Helps me forget that I have crippling student loan debt for a while.”

Others are not so lighthearted about the situation. Yoder’s grandmother, Betsy Yoder, said she’s gotten worried that her grandson’s Skype calls are all aerial views of the university because he’s gotten so unexplainably tall.

“I just wish my little Collie would talk to me,” Betsy said. “He never responds when I ask him questions and he’s always showing me his school from way up. I remember when he was this tall.”

She held her hand about four feet above the ground for comparison.

“What are they feeding kids these days?”

Despite the adversity, a pursuant Collin Yoder is still crafting ways to get the laptop back, which has all of his class notes and curriculum information. His scheme last week, to lure it with a sign that read, “free recharging,” turned out to be in vain.

According to eyewitness accounts he was last seen leaning off the roof of the Sheldon Art Gallery with a butterfly net, hoping to capture the evasive piece of technology as it levitated nearby.