Girl wowed by mature freshman with sophomore standing

Springtime is nearly upon us, love is in the air and Neihardt resident Kyle Hendersin has a killer in with the ladies. Kyle is one of the University elite, an 18 year old with 34 credit hours and the world is his oyster.

Few women can survive the 5’7” of sophomore maturity in a freshman’s youthful body; even Kyle’s presence in a crowded classroom is enough for women to lose themselves to “the vapors”

“I first noticed Kyle when I asked if he wanted to got to a freshman mixer and he corrected me by saying that ‘technically only one of us was a freshman,’ stated actual freshman McCenzie Miles. “I was amazed that even after I blatantly insulted his academic merits he’s still trying to feel me up in the Heroes basement. A true gentleman is forgiving.”

Unbecoming for someone with the weight of the world’s knowledge in his pint-size noggin, Kyle is often forced to elaborate on his academic background to those beneath him. His 18 high school credits hours were not, as is the case for many of the virginal plebes around him, from only AP courses but also from dual enrollment courses at the Wayne State College and Northeast Community College.

“Kyle is a treasure in class. He’s always scoffing when the other students give wrong answers and offering to tutor freshman,” stated Kyle’s Calc 107 professor, Linda Hopital who admitted that she is often take aback by the dreamy genius-boy and forced to step out of the classroom.

Students say what they first notice about Kyle is his ability to graduate in one less semester than the average student and his ability to build long roads in Settlers of Catan while also building inroads to the hearts of swooning women.