Girlfriend Red-Shirted Following Plans To Practice Abstinence For 2012 Season

High school sweethearts James Hill and Stacy Grishom have been together for nearly five years. Hill proposed to Grishom on New Year’s Eve and Grishom accepted. Later that week the pair announced their engagement to friends and family. They plan to be wed following their graduation from the University in May, but following their engagement party, Grishom explained to to Hill that they should postpone their pre-marital intercourse until after their wedding.

Photo illustration by Dylan Bliss

“What is a guy supposed to do with that?” responded Hill. “I did the only thing I could do. I handed her a Red Shirt and put her on the bench. I can’t afford to keep a player active who doesn’t deliver.”

Hill explained the situation was similar to when a college football coach would like to use a player later in their career, so they suspend or delay their game participation, allowing a year for practice and the chance to become more experienced.

“I caught a lot of heat, especially from Stacy’s family,” continued Hill. “But some of the best players in history were red-shirted! It’s a business decision, really. And not getting laid for 5 months is bad business.”

Grishom chose to view the decision in a positive light and told reporters she plans to use her off year to become a more well-rounded spouse and deliver a better performance when she returns to the roster.