Greece Riots To Remind World They Were First

Story by Grace Mortensen

On February 23, thousands of Greek workers took to the streets in protest.

“I’m not really sure what we’re protesting. I just came for the free baklava,” said Anatole Katsopolis, an elderly Greek man with a hairy chest and thick gold chain around his neck.

As it turns out, Greek citizens were not actually protesting anything.

Said protestor Athena Stephanopoulos, “On Twitter and our Facebook event, we told people we were protesting austerity policies… but really, it’s to remind everyone that we were first.”

Greek students and workers clashed with police for dramatic effect.

“We’re in debt. Any publicity is good publicity. So we decided we wanted some share in the lime light, which seems to only be focusing on the Middle East,” police officer Gus Vassiliadis said.

Back in late 2008, Greek protests brought Athens to a standstill.

“It’s been a while since people remembered we were protesting, so I figured, what the hell? Might as well remind everyone that we started it! Greece is the first in everything — rioting, Olympic games, democracies… I could go on, but I’m out of wine,” said Prime Minister George Papandreou.

As the day wore on, occasional tear gas and flash grenades were thrown “for effect,” but for the most part the streets were filled with people shouting, “this is Sparta!” and “Opa!” while eating gyros, olives and stuffed grape leaves. 

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