Hot new campus trend: nicotine patches

While the new campus policy has made smoking, vaping and chewing tobacco a thing of the past at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, a brand new trend is sweeping through the campus. Students, staff and faculty alike can be spotted sporting stylish nicotine patches all over their newly tobacco-free bods.

The familiar sight of seeing your favorite grad students chain smoking outside of Andrews Hall has been completely replaced by the sight of the same grad students, but this time they’re applying NicoDerm CQ patches.

The DailyER stopped a patch-enthusiast outside of the former Andrews Hall smoking patio to talk about the recent trend.

“I have to get my nic’ somehow,” said junior sociology major Newton Monroe. “Since the beginning of the semester, I’ve been having insane nicotine withdrawals and I had to do something about it. My buddy Chad started wearing patches and looked totally cute while doing it, so I decided to try them out. They definitely live up to the hype. Not only are they trendy and fun, they also bring my nicotine withdrawals down to a manageable level.”

The administration at UNL has also caught on to the trend and has decided to offer nicotine patches in vending machines all around campus.

Expanding on the classic clear NicoDerm patch design, UNL will be releasing their own patch line to fill the vending machines. The line will feature fun and trendy designs including animal prints, rainbows for the gays and Husker branded patches. The patches will also come in a variety of flavors such as mixed berry, bubblegum and grilled cheese. UNL has promised that all patches will be extended release and packed full with over three milligrams of pure, sweet unfiltered nic.

The patches are expected to drop sometime early next week and will be sold for $1 per patch and $5 for a pack of seven.