University of Nebraska sports are rich in tradition. The tradition doesn’t stop with the series of nicknames that has adorned Husker players and coaches for decades. Jerry ‘Legend… Wait For It… Dary’’ Baird, his father and his grandfather have been behind the biggest nicknames in Husker sports since Bob ‘Hootenanny’ Devaney.
Baird is the wordsmith behind Taylor ‘T-Magic’ Martinez, Rex ‘Sexy Rexy’ Burkhead and ‘Nebrasketball,’ but has seen come up short with nicknames for the latest players and coaches.
“It’s just writer’s block,” the youngest Baird said. “The same thing happened after my grandfather, Gerald ‘the Herald’ Baird started calling Tom Osbourne ‘T.O.’”
When confronted with talks of inadequacy, he added “I was the mastermind behind ‘Nebrasketball.’ It’s a hashtag for crying out loud. ‘T-Magic’ is on the kid’s license plate. ‘Sexy Rexy’ was on t-shirts!”
“You’re inadequate!” he cried in a moment of weakness.
It wasn’t always this way for the youngest member of the Baird nickname dynasty. After striking gold early among the underground portmanteau circuit, Baird rode his newfound fame all the way to the How I Met Your Mother writers room, where he founded his own nickname and Neil Patrick Harris’ catchphrase in one fell swoop. But young Jerry flew too close to the sun, and the legend eventually began to strike out. Jerry returned home, rhyming dictionary tucked beneath his arms and tail tucked between his legs.
Now Jerry is back at it. Still working to cement his legacy in the history books, Baird has started to regain his confidence with a new partner and a new generation of easy nicknames, ‘T-Magic,’ ‘Sexy Rexy,’ and in a particular moment of weakness for the duo, ‘Nebrasketball.’ Things seemed to be looking up for the young laureate before tragedy struck again. Jerry’s partner, no longer willing to share the spotlight with a nicknamer so prone to writer’s block, fled to Texas A.M., where he coined and trademarked the name ‘Johnny Football.’ Upon discovery of this betrayal, Jerry flew into a rage.
“Johnny Football was my baby! I remember one night we were up late working and I suggested just using sports in place of last names. That idea changed the game. He was still trying to make ‘Johnny Hockey’ work before I switched it out with ‘Football.’”
His former partner could not be reached for comment.
“My partner is gone, but I can still make the next big name,” Baird reflected. “I know I can recreate my father’s success of ‘Touchdown’ Tommie Frazier, I just have to keep plugging at it to silence the haters.”
