“Insect heaven basically regular hell,” by Entomologist James Nickels

Take a moment to imagine every single bug that has ever died in the existence of bugs, including those hellish dinosaur bugs from ancient times. Now imagine all of them in one ethereal plane and tell me that it’s not hell.

I’ve been in the entomology game for nearly 30 years, which is long enough to say with academic authority that bugs suck. When I was a little boy I thought that bugs were the coolest thing. I wish time machines were real, so I could go back and smack some sense into my 12-year-old self.

Do you know where there aren’t bugs? Space. I could have been astronaut.

Since becoming an entomologist, nearly 500 bees have stung me.  I hate bees.  Do you know how many bees have died since the existence of the bee?  No one does, but I can guarantee you it’s a whole fucking lot, and there’s no way that a place that houses every single dead bee isn’t hell.  

The only solace I can imagine in regards to such a place is that there would be no wasps in insect heaven, since they obviously go to insect hell. I imagine that place is just a giant Raid can.