Insipid fake news editor hiding behind label “satire”

Lately, politicians and citizens alike have cracked down on media sources accused of spreading false and pandering information, or “fake news.”

Recently, Nebraska officials have discovered a cowardly, wretched outlet that has blatantly released fake news, and has tried defending itself.

At the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, The DailyER, an insipid spreader of fake news through articles that are completely fabricated and false, has fallen under scrutiny. Despite the criticisms, the pathological liars behind The DailyER have claimed that their fires of deceit are in the name of satire, which can only be code for dangerous fake news.

“We make false stories to make fun of people and things in real life,” said DailyER editor Drew Preston, someone who can’t be looked at in the eyes for fear of psychological mind tricks. “You’d have to be pretty gullible and stupid to take anything at face-value. It’s a given that [dangerous fake news] should not be taken seriously.”

The pack of writers at The DailyER, likely brainwashed or blackmailed by their editor with more fake news, agree with their despot. The writers, despite people outing the toxic fakeness of stories like “Bus driver straight-up eating raw potato,” continue to create and publish their poison to this very day.

“[Dangerous fake news] is something that I wish to continue,” said writer and co-editor Matt Knapp, someone who likely tells children to believe in the myths of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny just so he can see them wallow in their ignorance before their dreams are eventually crushed when they are older. “It’s important to alleviate people and to entertain. Not everything has to be [not dangerous fake news].”

Luckily, students have started trying to defund The DailyER and prevent its vile employees from publishing.

“We deserve [not dangerous fake news],” said freshman economics major Kelly Juniper. “We must strive for [not dangerous fake news]. [Dangerous fake news] is everywhere, even [dangerous fake news] is [dangerous fake news].”