Knee Caps Voted Most Arousing Body Part of October

In the latest edition of “College Body Parts Magazine,” the result was unanimous.

Knee caps topped the poll to become the most arousing body part of October. The decision, made by anonymous students enrolled in universities across the nation aged 65 to 70, showed there is no other body part that compares to the sweet mid-leg mini-helmet.

“Really, when you look at the body, there is no other part that could have taken the top spot,” respondent Doris Machelli, a neuroscience major, said. “The curvature and pure beauty cannot be matched.”

Respondent Gus “The Machine” Dyson said he considered breasts to be his second most arousing body part, but saw no reason to put them in front of knee caps on his response.

“The thing about knee caps is that it’s not like getting hit with pillows,” Dyson said. “Those bad boys will give you bruises and remind you where your face had been for weeks. At my age, I need those kind of reminders.”

Last month’s body part came in outside of the top-five spots on the October list. Magazine editor Jeff O’Reely said it was fully expected by the staff.

“Generally when fall comes around, forearms go out of style, he said. “It’s more of a summer part, so once when summer comes to an end, people try to get a last look at forearms before we put them away for the winter.

“It’s interesting though because knee caps tend to follow a similar exposure pattern, but the people have spoken and we aren’t going to fix our surveys,” O’Reely said. “Our duty is to put out factual information to the public about trends and what’s going on on the body parts scene. It’s what we love to do.”