Following several weeks of talking mad shit about me behind my back, sources close to the situation report that local coward Chuck Wessley doesn’t have the balls to say it to my face.
Tensions came to a boiling point Friday night when Wessley reportedly said I was a “tool” and an “immature meat head,” prompting me to challenge him to say it right to my face and see how it works out for him.
Wessley has a history of being a soft-bodied sissy, stemming back to when I held him down and farted on him in the third grade at recess. Little has happened in the following years to alter popular public perception of this weak, pitiful excuse for a man.
While I obviously put the smack down on pieces of shit like him for breakfast, Wessley has clearly decided he’d rather dodge every opportunity for us to settle this like men and instead has been hiding behind his loser friends.
Five out of five experts in the field of ass whoopings agree that Wessley wouldn’t be able to throwdown with a jacked stud like me, and a new study released by me states he is a total pussy.
Following my formal invitation to get grounded-and-pounded into oblivion, Wessley reportedly flip-flopped on his previous statements, insisting “it was a joke” and begging me to “chill out.”
As of press time, that’s what I thought, bitch.