This week, the construction of the Middle East’s very first Evangelical Lutheran Church/daycare center was finally complete.
“We’re still looking for someone to play the keyboard in the praise band, but things are really starting to shape up over here,” says Senior Pastor Hank Petersen.
Upon the opening of the church, most Americans feared that the inclusion of a Christian establishment on such sacred ground would cause a religious uprising.
“This land used to be a training field for some of the most skilled suicide bombers in the country. Unfortunately, the very best of them never got to utilize their skills in a real-world mission. This land will always be commemorated for all those brave lives lost,” said Shosama Shinladin, a local bearded man .
Although these grounds are highly respected in this area, there didn’t seem to be much dissension in the community about the construction of the church.
“I’m looking forward to the Kool-Aid and those Rice Krispies bars with the chocolate on top,” another local terrorist said.
When major national news carriers in America caught wind of the church’s erection, they decided not to run the story during the same week of the Iraqi soldiers’ return. However, Curtis Waterbottom, an elderly man found sitting out in front of a Bakery in Hogwash, Ala., had this to say about the new church, “Good, them Muslims needed a religion.”