Witnesses say they’ve never seen anything like it.
As Andrew Dean took off running after his Organic Chemistry exam, his friends noticed things were weird, but said they never thought it would get this weird.
“He said he was going to blow off some steam,” chemistry major Gregory Dernell said. “But now that the tracks are in place, I have no idea how to get him back to normal.”
The Lincoln Police Department said in a statement that Dean has transformed into a steam engine train much like the original trains we’ve learned about in history books.
“We’ve never seen a case like this before,” Sgt. Mann said. “But we are calling everyone we know to try and find a solution.”
These calls include Union Pacific, the City Campus Recreation Center and Area 51.
The health center’s mental health wing also got involved.
“When we heard he was running off steam, we thought this could be another symptom of anxiety,” CAPs therapist Judy Timberwood said. “But there is a lot more going on than I thought.”
Dean’s parents said they never thought this would happen to their baby.
“I blame myself,” Dean’s mom Theresa said. “I let him read those horrible children’s books like ‘Thomas the Train’ and ‘The Little Engine That Could.'”
Although nobody can truly say what caused this or what can fix it, everyone is coming around Dean to express their sense of confusion and sadness that they have temporarily lost the man they knew.
To help Dean feel comfortable, though he can’t physically say if it’s working, Dean’s parents have allowed each of his family and friends to donate a six-foot quilt to keep his steel body warm.
“It’s just so hard to know what he wants,” Theresa said. “He’s always been quiet and bigger than the other kids. But now he’s mute and six box cars long.”
Police keep reminding everyone involved that they will do what they can for Dean. CAPs has also offered free sessions to anyone affected by this strange occurrence.
But for now, everyone just has to put their thinking caps on and come up with a strategy to bring Dean back into human form.
CAPs recommends using positive mental language like “I think I can, I think I can.”
