A stream of rust-colored bodily fluid collides with the bleach white urinal affixed to the wall of the City Campus Union men’s bathroom as sophomore business major Derek Collins releases a deep, aggravated sigh. He intends to elicit the attention of his newly acquainted group project partner Brady Williams who is positioned at the next urinal over, taking a piss.
“Do you ever feel like the reason you are single is because you hate yourself so much that you can’t even imagine someone else liking you in the slightest?” Collins inquired to Williams, positioning his head uncomfortably far across the urinal partition separating them in order to talk over the volume of both their pee streams hitting the urinals.
“I mean, sometimes, maybe, I don’t know, depends on what you mean,” Williams nervously replied, uncomfortable about the subject of conversation in conjunction with its setting as well as the rather difficult case of split-pee he at the time was dealing with.
“Like, I just look in the mirror and see nothing worth being proud of. I don’t think I ever really learned to forgive myself for the mistakes I made, probably because my parents never seemed to forgive me when I was growing up,” Collins further elaborated, rogue flecks of pee now arching gracefully over the urinal partition.
The two dual piss streams soon ran out, and so did Collins’ emotional venting, leaving the bathroom with his spirits as free as his bladder.