Man who actually read “Game of Thrones” cruel leader of watch party

Just like the mythical rulers in his favorite series of books, local student/George R.R. Martin reader Steve Halburt rules his “Game of Thrones” watch parties with an iron fist. The only member of the Sunday night get together to have read the source material, Halburt has taken a vow to guide his friends, but strike without mercy if necessary.

Since “Luke with his parent’s HBO Go account” first began the weekly watch parties 3 years ago, Halburt has functioned as a constant guide to the inner workings of Westboros. Thanks to his encyclopedic knowledge of “Game of Thrones” supplemental material Halburt prides himself in giving his subjects a greater knowledge of the series that they mainly watch for the nude scenes.

Ever the good king, Halburt has only been forced to show his true might once. The uprising in question, a mid-season two watch party where Kyle made the mistake of running to get more salsa before Steve finished explaining the Baratheon house sigil, ended with Kyle being handed a list of prominent character deaths for the next 2 seasons. There have been no further rebellions.

When asked about the incident, Kyle praised his leader.

“Yeah, he’s..he’s great. That thing with the salsa was a little weird but I mean, he HAS read the book, he IS better than us. I just wish he’d stop saying ‘You know nothing’ whenever I ask my other friends what they think will happen next season. But yeah, he’s alright for a self-imposed tyrant.”

The borders of Halburt’s realm extend beyond the wall of the Luke’s dorm room and into any coffee shop or airport where someone has the privilege to be reading or watching the series in his presence.

Halburt’s reign could possibly end in a fevered political debate not unlike the one’s that he keeps insisting were “soooo much more dramatic in the original book.” Luke and the other proletariat concluded that Halburt had never once brought chips and he would be left out of the group text invite for Season 4.