In an exciting development, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has confirmed that Mars rover Curiosity, an unmanned exploratory vehicle on the surface of the red planet, has become mobile for the first time. The rover’s mission, according to head NASA administrator Charles Frank “Charlie” Bolden, Jr., will now shift from taking still photos to collecting, analyzing, and naming mineral deposits for its pet rock collection.
“The whole point of this mission is to find out whether life on Mars is or ever was possible,” Bolden told reporters on Saturday. “We hope that Curiosity’s pet rock collection will prove that mindless, trend-obsessed life could indeed thrive there.”
“It’s a thrilling time,” added mission scientist Maurice Dixon. “Curiosity has quite a collection. We made sure to equip it with a good variety of the craft materials needed to personalize each rock; the googly eyes alone added 14 pounds to its cargo load.”
Though the scientific community has generally expressed support for the mission, some question the rover’s true usefulness when considering its cost. Hannah Petelinsek, an economist with the National Research Council, pointed out that NASA ran $500 million over-budget in its development process.
“Of course it’s important to understand the solar system, especially the planets closest to Earth,” Petelinsek wrote in her review of the government-funded space agency last year. “But the taxpayers have should see a return on their investment. Until NASA delivers the space-cat robot servants my 5 year-old drew on the wall last night, I’m not sure that requirement has been met.”
An exhibition for the public, dubbed “Life on Mars: Cosmic Kitsch,” has opened at the National Air and Space Museum. It introduced the world to Clarence, the first rock collected by Curiosity. Mission scientist Ron Lenz described Clarence as “a bit vampy,” but went on to say that “with so much poorly-glued fake blonde yarn-hair, what can you expect?”
“I really liked it,” said 9 year-old Aidan Berg, who visited the exhibit with his mother. “It made me want to be a scientist. Or a stripper. Or a rock.”
Curiosity is expected to collect hundreds of mineral samples during its nearly two-year mission. Scientists are also searching for a source of Martian water to activate the 37 Chia Pets in Curiosity’s cargo hold.
