Mechanic finds it inappropriate to discuss repairs so soon after car crash, offers prayers

Calling it abominable to politicize your car’s suffering, your local mechanic told you it was inappropriate to discuss repairs so soon after your car crash.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours since the crash, and you want to talk repairs?” questioned your mechanic. “What your car needs right now are our thoughts and prayers. Maybe once we have had some time to heal we can think about what would be the proper fix for your car.”

Your mechanic, then, began a lengthy tirade about how Chicago repaired their cars years ago but still have car crashes all the time.

“You can’t seriously tell me that fixing your car would actually prevent future accidents,” argued your mechanic. “If a car wants to get in a crash, it will find a way to get in a crash.”

Sources reported that you then reminded the mechanic that your car got into an accident because the brakes didn’t work and that, while there may be other problems with the car, fixing the brakes might be a good place to start.

“Australia had one brake-related car crash, so they fixed the brakes in their cars,” you told your mechanic. “And they haven’t had any more brake-related car crashes. That’s not to mention the majority of the developed world’s strict brake regulations that cause them to have much lower rates of car crashes caused by brakes.”

Unconvinced by your stance, your mechanic pointed to your country’s long-standing tradition of allowing faulty brakes to be available in cars sold to the public.

“Our founding fathers put it in writing that we have the right to faulty brakes,” said your mechanic. “And despite arguments otherwise, there is nothing we can do to change that.”

You then, reportedly, began to explain that the founding fathers couldn’t even fathom the dangers of modern cars without brakes, but decided it wasn’t worth the trouble and settled on penning a strongly-worded Facebook post about the National Brake Association.