Meme capsule dug up after 2 months


Lincoln’s first official meme time capsule has been dug up after two months in the ground. Mayor Chris Beutler led the ceremony last Tuesday in front of an excited crowd of millennials.


“It’s important to learn our history,” Beutler said. “We can see just how people lived long ago and what kind of culture they conceived.”


Lincoln residents began digging at the soil before pulling up a giant treasure chest. Beutler took a key from his coat pocket and unlocked the box. Almost immediately, a large groan emitted from the crowd as a pair of white vans were taken out.


“I hated that meme,” said Lincoln resident Alan Norris. “It was bottom-tier garbage. It was never funny. It’s just some little punk saying ‘Damn Daniel’ over and over again. And the kids met Ellen and Weezer and were some kind of goddamn celebrities. How did people find that funny?”


Other items taken from the capsule also triggered feelings of distaste for memes long forgotten. One of these was a “You Can’t See Me” hat famously worn by wrestler John Cena.


“All those videos,” recalled UNL student Ashley Davidson while rubbing her temple. “They were all over my Facebook feed. I’d be watching some video, and then bam, that stupid guy would fly in. I had to stay off of social media for a while there.”


Other memes included were an Oscar with Leonardo DiCaprio’s name and a set of steel beams and jet fuel. Despite the negative reaction, the crowd mostly agreed that it was a “pretty solid time for memes.”


“I remember last year, the capsule was full of the left dancing shark from Katy Perry’s performance,” said audience member Chris Hoffman. “And that stupid blue and black dress. Or was it white and gold?”


As the ceremony drew to a close, Beutler urged the crowd to browse the internet for the freshest memes they could find for the next capsule.


“I’m feeling really good about this next one,” Beutler said. “If there’s anything we’ve learned from this, it’s that history repeats itself.”