Missing Student Last Seen on MyRed Site

University of Nebraska-Lincoln officials are circulating information about missing undergraduate student Paige White, who was last seen registering for classes on November 7. She had previously expressed frustration with the system’s many convoluted menus when picking out classes.

“We were told by the administration to make the system especially confusing, because they didn’t want students logging off easily to go and party,” said lead MyRed software designer Steven Gilbert. “Our goal was to combine lots of submenus and tabs until it became essentially unusable by anyone except computer science majors.”

This party-discouraging design appears to have backfired, as the administration is now scrambling to find White before spring 2015 class registration closes, which would trap her inside of MyRed until fall 2015 registration opens.

The university is facing a potential lawsuit from White’s parents, who allege that she is not, in fact, trapped in MyRed, and has instead been stuck in the email server ever since setting up her account last year.

“When I sent my daughter to college, I expected her to live in a dorm room, not a computer,” said White’s mother, Dorothy. “These university living conditions are absolutely deplorable. No student should be living in a server.”

White’s disappearance into MyRed is not the first of its kind. Previous incidents have included the notorious and sudden disappearance of the entire class of 2011 into the system during registration for spring classes. At press time, the students have yet to be located.