NCAA unveils unlimited test answers for athletes

With the growing controversy of student-athletes potentially being on college’s payrolls, the NCAA has voted to allow unlimited test answers for athletes. This mandates that every athlete will receive every answer to every test they will take during college, so they can devote more time to their unpaid college athletics career. Even though this ruling comes at an awkward time, NCAA president Mark Emmert ensures that this new rule is the best thing for college athletics.

“This new rule will ensure players who aren’t able to work at a job outside of school that they also won’t have to work during school either,” Emmert said in the official press release.

Even though the new rule contradicts the whole idea of a student-athlete, many students and faculty members are excited about the possibility of not doing anything.

“With the many hours I put into football practice, plus the hours I put into making sure my moustache make me look like a porn star, I just don’t have time for studying anymore,”  said the Hail Mary guy, Jordan Westerkamp. “It also makes up for the fact that college football is stealing thousands of dollars away from a guy who has no shot at the NFL.”

The new “unlimited test answers” rule is so well received, many former college athletes are complaining about why it has not existed before.

“What the fuck? Now their just giving easy A’s away. Before, my dad had to pay off most of my professors so I could pass. Think of all the money Father could have saved,” said a former gymnast for the Huskers.

Even though the ruling may sound like a scheme by the NCAA to not pay college athletes by giving away college degrees, Mark Emmert swears this rule is for the best.

“There is nothing more valuable in life than a college education, especially when you do not have to work for it at all. In the end, we hope that this will distract our athletes enough to where they forget we are not compensating them for making universities hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

  • ClarineOHawf ,

    It’s awesome in support of me to have a web page, which is valuable in favor of my experience.
    thanks admin