Nebraska loses to bye week 35-17

In an already depressing football season for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, things have just gotten a whole lot worse. After suffering back-to-back blowout losses at home, Nebraska conjured up another embarrassing performance last night as the 24-point favorite Huskers lost to the bye week by a score of 35-17, sliding to a 3-5 record.

Head coach Mike Riley, already on the hot seat after season-long struggles with the team, vented his anger during the post-game press conference. “I am absolutely devastated by our team’s performance today,” said Riley. “It was as if our team didn’t even show up at all! Our fans deserve much better than this. It’s going to take all of our strength to make it to a subpar bowl game and get blown out by a mediocre SEC team.”

Riley was not the only one who expressed confusion after yet another pathetic loss by Nebraska this season. “Wait, there was a game this week?” said Husker fan Jacob Tobias. “Huh, well, I can’t say I’m surprised we lost. I’m really tired of these gut-wrenching losses. Thank goodness Husker basketball season is just a few weeks away.”

Newly hired Athletic Director Bill Moos, taking the spot of interim AD Dave Rimington, expressed discontent with the football program in a post-game interview. “Chancellor Green told me this team was without a doubt the best football team in the country before I took the job,” stated Moos. “I was extremely honored to take the job to help lead the best team out there. But when I found out this team lost to a bye week? Give me a break. The only thing worse than that would be a home loss to Northern Illinois. Good thing that hasn’t happened yet, right?”