NRA promotes “Bring your child’s gun to work” day

It’s no secret that the proliferation of firearms into all aspects of American life is one of the National Rifle Association’s goals. Amidst growing concerns that the accessibility of military-grade weaponry is contributing to increasingly frequent rate of mass shootings, NRA leadership has voiced plans to steer their organization towards a more family-friendly message.

“It’s absolutely critical that we instill the proper values in our children regarding firearms,” said Wayne LaPierre, NRA executive vice president. “We encourage parents to bring not only their child to work, but also bring their child’s gun. The safety of our children should be every parent’s primary concern, and it’s important that we teach kids that they can be viciously attacked by an assailant in any environment, even in the company of their parents.”

Opponents of “Bring your child’s firearm to work day” have voiced concerns over the sensibility of the issue. The DailyER spoke with one source, who wishes to remain anonymous due to concern over their physical safety resulting from having a different viewpoint than the NRA.

“I’m an elementary school teacher. I can safely say that children of that age have neither the maturity nor experience to understand the repercussions that their actions have,” she said. “Last week I had a fourth grader punch himself in the face in an attempt to swat a fly. The week before that I had two 7-year-olds get into a shoving match over who was going to tattle on a the third child. Anyone who believes that children can make calculated decisions is absolutely mental, especially when a failure to do so could result in serious injury and death. Don’t enough children die from accidental gun violence already?”

LaPierre, however, has made it clear he is unconcerned with detractors.

“Look, we’re living in a dangerous time,” he said. “ People are getting shot left and right in schools, in movie theaters and even in churches. It’s clear that the only thing that can solve this problem is ensuring that any bad guy with a gun will be met with a hail of good guy bullets flying in their general directions. Science is on our side here. Arming our children doubles your personal potential firepower. It’s a win-win situation! Plus, most people usually have more than one kid.”