President Trump thankful he got his swastika tattoo removed 25 years ago

As racial tensions have continued to pressure his presidential administration, Donald Trump has gotten himself into a complex controversy that most anyone with common sense could have avoided. After not denouncing white supremacists after the Charlottesville riot and half-heartedly condoning their actions and then retracting that two days later, our commander-in-chief has been cast as a Nazi sympathizer and pandering to his voter base.

The president’s actions may seem impossible to explain, but that has not stopped him before. During Tuesday’s press conference, Trump reiterated that he does not support any Nazi or white supremacist movement.

Then, in the most telling part of the press conference, President Trump expressed gratitude for the insight to get rid of the swastika tattoo he had done on his left cheek sometime in the early 1990s.

“I gotta say, I’m the smartest man I’ve ever met. The intellect that runs through my head cannot be calculated by normal humans,” gloated the president. “To be able to look at yourself, notice your abnormal swastika tattoo and realize that may affect you in the future is something only the enlightened can do.”

Trump clarified that he got the tattoo during college as a way to impress his father.

“You know how kids are, always trying to impress their parents. It was constantly a battle for my father’s attention, Trump said. “As he headed to his monthly Klan meetings, I got the idea of getting the tattoo to celebrate our love as rich, white racists. He loved it.”

When pressed why he got rid of the tattoo and if that admits any guilt in the first place, Trump retaliated against any criticism.

“My removal of a simple family symbol on my body should not reflect my character and none of you reporters have any merit to criticize it,” Trump explained confusingly. “I’m a business man, and you have to know a lot of different people when running a business. So when I was at the height of my career, I decided to remove the tattoo in case it offended any potential non-white business partners.”

When asked a fourth time to denounce Nazis, Trump responded with “No comment.”